Going your own way
I never have a problem answering meme or survey questions that say; “what’s your favorite band of all time?� … the answer is always, and may always be, Fleetwood Mac. Today while looking for something I stumbled across a performance of “Go Your Own Way,� and since it’s my favorite song of theirs I had to stop and both listen to and watch it. This song makes me feel wonderful listening to it, and I don’t quite know why. I laugh at myself for knowing that the man’s name is Lindsey and the woman’s name is Stevie … and how silly I thought that was while I was growing up.
Anyway, the song made me think about people going their own (and often separate) ways. Sometimes that journey is a surprise and sometimes it’s absolutely planned out. Sometimes you don’t even realize that it’s happened until you’re miles away (literally or figuratively) from the other person. It can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing, ultimately I think these kinds of travels are what you make of them.
Lately I’ve noticed myself on paths quite different than those of my peers, and even my closest friends. We have all gone our own way, and some of us have purposefully steered our ways back towards one another. Some of us are allowing the paths to take us in different directions with no anxiety about that. Then there are those of us who are still refusing to admit that we’ve walked far from one another and don’t actually have plans to turn around and come back.
What happens when you’re the person who wants to stay on the same path and have realized that you’re being left alone, or that your separate path is so incredibly different that it just won’t work? Do you want my advice (oh, I’m so sure that you do!) You’ll just have to move on in order to help yourself out. Why bother sitting and stewing on a relationship that has changed too much to “repair� (or to go back to “normal�)? Honestly, I don’t believe that you should push anyone to fix something that they this is overly broken. When my husband left me, I heard “why don’t you just go to counseling?� more than a half-dozen times. Each time I repeated myself with “he doesn’t want to fix it, and I refuse to force him to try.� They didn’t understand that I would rather deal with a broken relationship than have someone resent me for “forcing� them to try and repair it. If the other person isn’t willing to walk your path with you, and they won’t budge on that (and you don’t want to walk their path, you may be headed on a solo journey. It may seem scary at first, but honestly, it’s one of the most liberating and exciting things I’ve ever done. I have this feeling I’m coming upon another chance to take a solo journey and I’m already excited (albeit anxious as well) about it.
mental and emotional health, Fleetwood Mac, Lindsey Buckingham, Stevie Nicks, Go Your Own Way, separation, anxiety, change
May 21st, 2007 at 11:35 am
It’s so interesting how everyone is posting about relationships lately! It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot - probably because of all the changes I’m going through in my marriage, my work, and as a mother and a woman.
I have a hard time defining what makes a relationship work, and what makes it fail. And when do you walk away? I think you put it well, though. In a lot of situations if two people are going in different directions, a relationship just won’t work. Sometimes I think that means ending the relationship, sometimes a period of separation is necessary to get perspective and grow, and sometimes the relationship can continue if both parties are willing to engage with one other and be patient with the situation. Like you said, though, it absolutely doesn’t work if one person refuses to engage and talk about the problems facing the relationship.
May 21st, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Safe travels, my friend. It’s not the destination but the journey. Or something like that.