Mental & Emotional Health

I read someone’s blog the other day and they were discussing how they had a just went to bed and had a good cry.  I haven’t cried in ages.  (Until yesterday, but I’ll get to that.)  One of the benefits of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is that I do not cry at the drop of the hat like I once did.  There was a time, as far back as I can remember until just in the last seven or eight years, that I cried about every single thing that bothered me. 

Years on anti-depressants changed that crying problem.  But, at the same time, sometimes, you just need a good cry.  I did cry yesterday during our counseling session only because I was overwhelmed.  I am having issues with my 3-year-olds behavior since the oldest started Kindergarten.  He pulls out toys but then won’t play with them alone.  He doesn’t want to put them back either.  He basically is just sending me over the edge, every day. 

I attribute part of my emotional wreckage to the fact that mono is still plaguing me, but some of it is that this child truly is stubborn.  Most days by the time my husband gets home from work I’m ready to go lay down or run away.  Yesterday in the counseling session, I cried just a little.  I didn’t squall, I just cried a little.  The boys were with us and I didn’t want them to see me in snubbing action. 

However, it would have been really nice just to burst into tears.  I would prefer that I just burst into tears over  something silly so that there’s really nothing wrong that needs tears for obvious reasons.  But, I do need a good cry.

So, what did I do instead?  I got a manicure and pedicure.  I find that since I am at home all day again, I feel like I need more me time.  When we owned the daycare, I rarely got me time, and I would talk about it but I never took any action to make it happen.  I’ve been at home full-time basically since the week of fourth of July.  And, I’ve had about 6 pedicures since then and now I think I need a manicure as well.

Everyone needs some personal time (and until your kids quit following you to the restroom) but you don’t always get it.  A manicure and pedicure helps, but really would like a great big cry.