Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaaanges!
As of this year, I have been living with depression for ten years. I’ve been dealing with feelings of worthlessness, social withdrawal, and at my worst, suicidal tendencies for a decade now. I am 25-years-old and have lived with this illness since I was 15; it is a part of me, and while I am more than just depressed, it is a huge part of who I am. However, lately I’ve noticed that things are changing for me.
Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling HAPPY more often than not.
~little things make me happy; being invited to a movie-night with my friends, getting a phone call from my best friend, laughing with my mom about our mutual love for Willie Nelson
Lately I’ve noticed that I am smiling all the time.
~during my entire hike over the weekend I was smiling, putting on my sunhat to sit in the super-hot Oregon weather made me smile, seeing that there is a new episode of A&E’s Intervention onDemand made me smile (although I will probably eventually cry from it)
Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve been enjoying my life!
~my work thoroughly pleases me, I’m really looking forward toschool starting in September, even my neighbor’s incessant hammering (remodeling) isn’t bothering me like it used to, reading has become an absolute pleasure for me again instead of just an escape
Lately I’ve noticed that while I have my depressed moments, they are becoming fewer and farther between.
~even while so upset about the finality of my relationship with Mr.E., it took me 40 hours to move past it and realize that I’m worth more than that, I had a panic attack early last week and it was the first one that I can remember having in months and months
Lately I’ve noticed that my coping methods when I am depressed have changed.
~instead of feeling the need to escape (by reading, having a beer or two, not answering the phone/hiding), I’ve reached out when I’ve felt depressed. I’ve made it known to friends when I’m feeling down and I have been asking for help. This is a huge change for me.
Lately I’ve been weirded out that this stuff is changing. I don’t quite know what to do with myself; so instead of thinking about it too much, I’m sitting back and enjoying it!!
Hi, my name is Sarah; I smile a lot lately.
mental and emotional health, depression, anxiety, Accutane, depression causes, happy, healing, healthy, smiling, enjoying life, coping methods, relationships, dating
July 11th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
What a smile! Reading about you being happy makes me happy. A good ripple.
July 11th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
MAD: thank you, your comment made me smile some more! I think I’m going to take my camera with me as I celebrate my anniversary (of freedom) with friends tonight.
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:02 pm
[...] healthy, smiling, enjoying life, coping methods, relationships, dating. article continues at Sarah brought to you by Depression and Clinical [...]
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:53 am
[...] Panic Attacks can strike anyone, at anytime. [...]