Mental & Emotional Health

A study published in December,2007 in the medical journal of the American Academy of Neurology found people over 65 could lower their risk of developing dementia by up to 29 percent.

They didn’t say exactly why this was but a theory that made sense was that it gets the blood flow pumping better through the brain. This lessens the likelihood of strokes, which also affects the memory.

Luckily, moderate exercise is still effective like walking because once you’re over 65 you may not be into anything too strenuous.

“Our findings show moderate physical activity, such as walking, and all physical activities combined lowered the risk of vascular dementia in the elderly independent of several sociodemographic, genetic and medical factors,” said study author Giovanni Ravaglia, MD, with University Hospital S. Orsola Malpighi, in Bologna, Italy. “It’s important to note that an easy-to-perform moderate activity like walking provided the same cognitive benefits as other, more demanding activities.” (ScienceDaily, Dec. 21, 2007—ST. PAUL, Minn)

Wayne Dyer discusses what happens if you act as if you are deficient in some way or need fixed. Of course you will never feel you have enough with this mind set but many of us do it. It’s basically “the secret� before it came out in different packaging.

If you ever said or thought, “Once I get that fill in the blank, then I’ll be happy� then you’re operating on the premise that you’re deficient. I have been doing this lately with sleep. Once I get a good nights sleep, I will be alight.

If you can’t stop and appreciate what you have in the present, then you will probably not be grateful for what you get in the future. You never “arriveâ€? because you’re still not satisfied since something is always lacking. Even when some people obtain their dream house they will say, It’s nice but it’s too bad it doesn’t have a fireplace, bigger yard, better scenery etc. It’s never enough.

Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite authors and has helped me through plenty of my messed up moments. He was still in the process of writing “You’ll See it When You Believe It� in this talk, which is also an excellent book.

This video is part 1 of Wayne Dyer on No Limit People, who he says accept themselves for who they are. They also appreciate what they have so are able to enjoy the present moment instead of worrying about what they don’t have.

When is the last time you took time out for a hobby you enjoy? Sometimes people say they’re too busy but most of us can make time to do something.

It can mean that you’re becoming depressed if you no longer participate in activities you used to enjoy. I know I get depressed if I stop doing things I enjoy anyway.

Not everyone is into the same things but maybe there’s a painting you wanted to paint or a fish you wanted to catch.

My husband is mad about fishing. I enjoy it but after a few hours, I get a little jumpy if I don’t have a book. Luckily, I think ahead and bring a couple novels to read.

Simply getting out and being in touch with nature is therapeutic or even just flying a kite. I like to walk and look at scenery because it helps clear my head and lift my spirits. Of course, it’s good for your health too.

I bought a couple patterns weeks ago and tonight am finally going to start cross-stitching one of them. They say funny things on them like “chill out�and “get lost� and a couple other ones are quite obscene but they make me happy.

The last couple of days have been a little hairy because half our household is sick and a couple of them are getting snappy. Since I can’t command that they all go to bed this early I’m escaping into the basement with my book and my stitching.

• The message for today is to take time out to play or participate in some sort of leisure activity or hobby you enjoy. If you don’t have any hobbies, start one. I have a neighbor in her seventies who goes to yoga classes regularly and it sounds like fun.

I have included the video Stop Getting Abused and Learn Healthy Boundaries which briefly goes over these fighting words. Thanks to Jef Gazley M.S. from AsktheInternetTherapist.

You

When trying to communicate feelings to someone one of the worst words to start a conversation with is you. It comes across as finger pointing and blaming. It puts people on the defensive because it makes it sound as though they’re on trial.

Examples: “You ruined dinner.” “You made me mad.” “You hurt my feelings.”

Better: Use I statements. “I was disappointed dinner was disrupted.” “I feel angry about that.” My feelings were hurt…or I feel sad, hurt etc.

Always

This one probably drives just about everyone crazy because most don’t always do anything. “You’re always late.” “You always say that.” One of my kids has grabbed onto this one and I keep correcting her. Ahhh! I don’t always say that! This is another good reason not to use it because it will come back to haunt you from your children.

Never

This sounds just as drastic as the word always and ticks people off. You never help me. You never come through. Again, it puts people on the defensive and will add more fuel to the fire. If you truly want help with something, starting out by saying someone never helps will not motivate them to do so.

The best way to manage anger is by avoiding unnecessary conflict with your own behavior and words. You could combine these words and fire them all out at once. I have probably done it at one point or another but it’s not very smart or mature. It will also probably cause an argument if one wasn’t already happening.

Boundaries: Stop Getting Abused And Learn Healthy Boundaries

Plenty of people become stressed and depressed in their forties but I wonder how many of them are really having a mid life crisis.

Maybe some people just want out of a marriage and decide they don’t want the responsibility of raising children or get bored of their spouse and job so run away.

Sometimes they run away with someone much younger. It seems mighty convenient that it’s almost expected and accepted that people will go through this crisis because you can always say “Oh that was because I was having a mid-life crisis.”

Does this make running off with someone half your age or abandoning your children ok? Is this something that we are supposed to simply acknowledge will happen and it’s quite alright for people to act like selfish jerks because they’re going through a mid life crisis?

Dr. Richard A. Friedman wrote an interesting article about using a mid life crisis as an excuse for bad behavior.

“The first five years of his marriage were exciting. “It was like we were dating all the time,â€? he recalled wistfully. But once they had a child, he felt an unwelcome sense of drudgery and responsibility creep into his life.

Being middle-aged had nothing to do with his predicament; it was just that it took him 49 years to reach a situation where he had to seriously take account of someone else’s needs, namely those of his baby son. In all likelihood, the same thing would have happened if he had become a father at 25.”(Crisis? Maybe He’s a Narcissistic Jerk, Jan.15, 2008)

I do believe people experience a mid life crisis in the sense that they question things and wonder if they should reevaluate their lives and their goals. This doesn’t always have to involve negative changes like affairs and/or drugs though and can in fact lead to positive changes.

I just don’t think it’s too productive for anyone’s relationship to say “Yeah, it’s alright if you take off, buy that motorcycle, go on drugs and trade me in for a young one with no kids. I’ll hold down the fort while you go sort things out. Have fun.”

Prevention

It’s better to catch these things before they happen by communicating and going for counseling together to avoid further harm to a family. It can work both ways and there’s plenty of run away wives as well. Perhaps some of these marriages are beyond repair anyway so someone had to have some sort of crisis to get out of it.

Encouraging the perception that most will have a mid life crisis because it’s the norm is not a good idea in my opinion because it leads many to have a handy excuse for irresponsible behavior.

Instead of simply allowing the mid life crisis to run it’s course, how about treating the depression first by exploring problems with a counselor, therapist and/or your spouse? It seems a more likely method to avoid divorce but it does take two.

Happy Valentines day all. I guess that wasn’t a very romantic post but I did actually have a wonderful dinner with my husband. I wish you all peace and happiness whether you’re single or married.

• Rena Sherwood is glad she’s single because she has apparently discovered that sex causes headaches. Check out Sex, Orgasms and Headaches for more.

The U.S. Supreme Court banned the death penalty for juveniles under 18 in 2005.

I agree with that decision but the conclusions drawn regarding past abuse, mental illness and addiction problems are things that will probably remain constant so will still apply when they’re adults.

Past abuse

Most of the convicted had suffered from some form of psychological, sexual and/or extreme physical abuse in their families. Past family abuse is a well known risk factor for future violent behavior so this doesn’t seem like a surprising find.

Mental Illness

A study of 18 convicted males was “to clarify the ways in which immaturity of their central nervous systems, traumas to their brains, predispositions to psychiatric illness, and chaotic, violent and abusive upbringings may have diminished their judgment and self-control.” (Lewis and colleagues study, 2004)

Signs and symptoms were present in 83% of the condemned, indicating either bi-polar disorder or schizoaffective disorder. I’m not sure how they came up with those labels. It seems many juveniles don’t have fully developed consciences so could be accused of being anti-social as well.

Yet another study confirmed that most psychosocial maturity is incomplete up until the age of 19. This could explain the bi-polar and/or schizo affective disorder suggestion since impulse control is lacking in both. Being mentally ill alone does not necessarily make a person more likely to be violent but an abusive violent family home does.

Addictions

Addictions were also mentioned as a contributing factor but how many youths suffered from a drug addiction wasn’t mentioned. This wouldn’t help anyone’s judgment though regardless of age.

• The only thing that will change is they will probably mature so their impulse control may improve. If juveniles are mentally ill and their frontal lobe is affected, growing older does not guarantee better impulse controls either. Medication may help but that’s only if they’re properly diagnosed and treated once released.

See When is it ‘Cruel and Unusual Punishment’? Supreme Court Bans Juvenile Death Penalty, Arline Kaplin, 2005 for more.

I watched an interesting film today on Pbs.org about ADHD and medicating kids. It attempted to address why two or three kids in every U.S. classroom are diagnosed with ADHD.

Part of the reason is because some doctors who specialize in ADHD also receive money from drug companies for promoting ADHD awareness. Some of the drug companies create presentations and lectures that include incentives and prizes.

They boost their sales through these promotional events since advertising psychiatric drugs or stimulants directly to consumers is prohibited by the DEA.

Since teachers see children every day, they are frequently in the position of making the suggestion for medication as well. They’re not qualified to give the diagnosis so should they be suggesting medication?

Who is qualified to make the diagnosis? If drug companies are paying off doctors who specialize in ADHD, how do you know which doctors diagnosis to trust?

• Noelle and Alex are two of the children on the film that seem happier on the medication than off. They say they feel better and their concentration improves.

• Robin stopped taking the medication saying it made him jittery and didn’t help. He was put on several medications until he finally refused any more and was angry with his mother for trying to force it on him.

• Nicholas was only three when his parents were told he had ADHD and medication was suggested. They refused and decided to take him out of preschool and spend more time with him instead.

Medication such as Ritalin and Aderol has helped some people. I think ADHD is being over diagnosed, which means some children are on medications that don’t need it.

If you haven’t seen the film Medicating Kids, it expands on the issue. It’s about an hour long and is broken into five parts.

Symptoms of a panic attack often include dizziness, tightness in chest, sweating and difficulty breathing. When this happens on a frequent basis, it’s called a panic disorder but otherwise is considered an isolated incident.

Of course it could also be a heart attack so don’t be afraid to get to a doctors if you’re in actual pain.

There are medications available to help with panic and/or anxiety but cognitive behavior therapy is sometimes recommended. (More information at Psychology Today)

This seems like a sensible long-term plan because then you can work on changing both your thoughts and your behavior to help deal with the panic attacks so that they will eventually go away.

Both cognitive and behavior therapy are my favorite choices because they deal with the present and give you a sense of empowerment over your thoughts and your actions. Psychotherapy might be helpful with some who need to get in touch with their past or memories but I prefer to try to stay focused on what can be done now.

I can sort of understand how panic disorders can grow because they usually start with one particular thing but then lead to others.

As an example, years ago a dog snarled and lunged at me and its owner said that he never acted that way before. I ended up taking this to heart. While intellectually I knew it didn’t make sense, I was afraid to walk on the same side a dog was on for months after that.

If I did not get over that, I may have eventually avoided sidewalks and then going out altogether. What I did the first time was hold my breath and walked past stiff as a board, and the next time it was a little better and by the third I was all right.

I don’t mean to downplay an actual panic disorder and I’m sure it would be more challenging but that’s the closest thing I could think of that I experienced.

For more information or to seek support or help see:

• About.com’s pages on Panic Disorder
• AnxietyCentre.com
• Panic Attack Tips

Depending on where you read them, the prison stats vary. Most quote over half the prison population has some sort of mental disorder.

While I don’t have all the exact stats, drug abuse seems to be a close match.

Many people with mental disorders tend to self medicate, especially if they haven’t had a proper medical diagnosis or received help.

From Statistics on Mental Health

• More than 70% of the prison population has two or more mental health disorders. Male prisoners are 14 times more likely to have two or more disorders than men in general, and female prisoners 35 times more likely than women in general. Social Exclusion Unit (2004) quoting, Psychiatric Morbidity Among Prisoners In England And Wales, (1998)

From U.S. Department of Justice & PsychiatryOnline.org

• More than half of prison and jail inmates were found to have a mental health problem, according to a report released by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics in September.

From England’s Department of Health

• Sixty to seventy per cent of them were using drugs before imprisonment and over 70% suffer from at least two mental disorders.

On young people from Prison Reform Trust

• Over 90 per cent of imprisoned young offenders have at least one, or combination of, the following: personality disorder, psychosis, neurotic disorder, or substance misuse.

Lack of Medical Treatment

It appears that many young people with mental disorders end up in prison before they receive medical treatment for their disorder.

There are of course plenty of people with mental disorders who manage to stay out of the prison system. If they have both a drug addiction and a mental disorder the chances of landing in prison seem to increase. Obviously access to a proper diagnosis and treatment is a factor as well.

For example it can take up to ten years to be properly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and many are initially misdiagnosed. Part of the problem there seems to be that many won’t seek help unless they’re depressed. Then of course, they’re diagnosed as having depression.

To me it seems extremely important to diagnose young people earlier because it would improve not only their future prospects but also the rest of society. If a young person ends up in prison when they should have instead been hospitalized, that is bound to make any existing mental illness worse.

Journaling is a good form of therapy and sometimes purging thoughts out help people feel better.

Starting a gratitude journal seems like a wonderful way to focus on the positive and I have decided to begin one. All you do is every day write about five things that you are grateful for.

Some days might be easier than others but you can always be grateful about something. There may be things that you take for granted that you could include and it may start you thinking in a more positive light.

If you are having a rough day or are having trouble recalling any pleasant incidents, think about things that comfort you or family and friends. Memories are also something to be grateful for when mourning.

As an example, I am very grateful for my cozy and comfortable pajamas. The sound of my child’s laughter, the smell of muffins in the oven, my family’s love and health, and the opportunity to begin another day.

At Simple Abundance Online, Sarah explains how focusing on our blessings helps bring abundance into our lives. It also helps shift our mood so that we feel more hopeful when focusing on the positive. Sarah also suggests picking the prettiest cover you can find with the best paper. A good pen always makes a difference for me and I prefer gel pens but have a horrible time keeping them for myself. Like socks, there is always a shortage no matter how many I buy. Once I get some new gel pens, I will be most grateful for them and stick them in a secret stash.

I have been feeling a little out of sorts, so thought this would be a start in turning things around. I need more sleep but I am grateful to have a bed. There, I think I have actually come up with six and could probably go on but sleep would probably be wiser.

Thanks to the Grateful Living Blog I found this fun video that suggests writing down what you’re grateful about and also doing the “grateful dance“. It made me smile anyway so thought I would share.

If you let it, Valentines Day can really stress you out. The media over commercializes the day trying to convince you to buy everything to “prove� your love. My husband has always been good for a card but with all the built up expectations there can be let downs.

I remember one year I bought these pretty little heart candle holders that I put on a table in our bedroom. Well, my husband was tired, came home and knocked them over smashing them to bits. Whether we had those stupid candles or not is not going to make or break our marriage.

If you build it up thinking it will be the most romantic night of the year, you are bound to be let down emotionally. Ironically, the day can end up causing more problems if you let it.

What if you are single? Valentines Day can be very lonely for people who do not have a date. Try to pamper yourself instead and fight the media’s notion that you are not complete without some romantic partner.

Grab a good book, have a bath, listen to music, invite a friend over for a movie and/or light some candles. There are many things you can do for yourself and don’t have to wait for someone bearing chocolates and roses.

I do believe Valentines Day is overrated anyway. So what if someone spends a fortune on Valentines Day? Does that make them a good potential partner? No, anyone can buy a couple gifts one day out of the year. What about the rest of the year?

Spending quality time together doing things you both enjoy on a regular basis is more likely to make for a successful relationship. For all we know that woman in the office who received jewelry and a dozen roses is going home to a life of hell.

• If you want to read something light, head over to Tulsa OK’s blog where Candy shares some insulting quotes from famous people.

Previously I posted about insomnia and it’s still been an ongoing issue for me although must admit didn’t stick to waking up at the same time every day.

Anyway, tonight I’m giving this guided meditation a go by Michael Mackenzie. He is apparently a master of meditation although I didn’t even know there was such a thing. As a bonus it’s supposed to help against addictive traits. I have the potential to become addicted to just about anything so this can’t hurt.

Some children are more prone to angry outbursts than others are especially if they happen to have certain conditions or disorders. A couple that comes to mind is ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

Understanding that they may need help in dealing with their anger and excusing it are two different things.

If your child is clocked on the head by another child and the parent says, “Oh, he has an oppositional defiance disorder”, that hardly excuses it.

I witnessed something like this happen and it made me angry because there were no consequences given. These children still need to learn from their actions as everyone else does with discipline and consequences.

Seeking professional help is advisable in some circumstances as there are some things that we as parents cannot treat or resolve on our own.

Helping Children Deal With Anger

The biggest way we teach children how to deal with anger is by example or through our actions. Talking is important as well but if the words and actions don’t match, it doesn’t mean much.

• Ways we teach children by example are by having them witness how we react to stresses that normally cause anger. Do we jump up and down, scream and curse or take a deep breath and leave the room?

• Try to teach empathy. I’m aware that this is easier with some children than others because I have a few of them. Talking about their feelings is good but exploring with them how another might feel in the same situation is even better. It’s possible to do this without guilt trips although I don’t claim to have perfected this.

• Make sure that they know that their feelings of anger are ok. It’s the actions that are not acceptable.

• Teach problem-solving skills. Again, one of the best ways to do this is through your actions but talking out ideas and role-playing are also useful.

Once your child has had an angry outburst or temper tantrum, there are various ways to deal with it. Sometimes the method you choose depends on their age.

• Removing your child from the room is usually the most effective IMO, but it’s also important to explain why you’re doing it. Sometimes you may have to actually pick them up and carry them to do this. This way they have time alone to calm down and are not as apt to act out without an audience.

If you have children, what ways do you deal with your their angry outbursts? If you have any more ideas feel free to share.

Since my circadian cycle is completely out of whack I thought many others might be in the same boat. Lack of sleep or insomnia negatively affects our mental and emotional health.

The University of California investigated what happens to our minds without sleep. I highly doubt anyone who has gone without sleep would be surprised with their findings.

Apparently, it can affect our mood and lead to depression and anxiety. Really? In addition, lack of sleep tends to bypass connecting to the prefrontal section of your brain and hits the locus coeruleus or primitive part instead.

What is still disputed by many is whether lack of sleep leads to mental illness or mental illness leads to lack of sleep. It probably depends on the individual and their present situation or circumstances. Obviously sleep disturbances would contribute towards making any existing mental illness worse.

“It’s almost as though, without sleep, the brain had reverted back to more primitive patterns of activity, in that it was unable to put emotional experiences into context and produce controlled, appropriate responses,” said Matthew Walker, director of UC Berkeley’s Sleep and Neuroimaging Laboratory and senior author of the study, which will be published today (Monday, Oct. 22) in the journal Current Biology.”

I know from experience insomnia can lead to strange sorts of behavior. If you’re worried or stressed about something, that can interfere with sleeping. To make matters worse, worrying about not being able to sleep makes sleep even less likely to come.

Suggestions for Getting to Sleep

Getting to the root cause of why you can’t sleep is not always helpful especially since you might already know why you can’t sleep. So what can be done about it? A sleep specialist can help you sort it out but here are some other suggestions.

• Get up at the same time every day regardless of how much sleep you got the night before. This requires some discipline and may involve feeling zombie like for a couple days.

• Try exploring relaxation methods such as meditation, yoga and deep breathing. Doing weird stuff like listening to loud rock and roll right before bed might not relax you. Not that I’ve ever done that.

• Limit or stop your caffeine intake since it is a stimulant. It’s also a diuretic so may interrupt your sleep because you might need to go to the washroom more frequently, which leads to the next point.

• Limit fluid intake.

• Don’t nap for more than a half hour at a time if you must. Any longer than that and it will interfere with your sleep come bedtime. I don’t know about you but I end up feeling groggier if I have a nap that lasts for more than an hour.

• Exercise regularly. Don’t do this right before bed or you’ll be all pumped up. Exercise does make you sleep better though as long as it’s not what you do immediately before jumping into bed.

• Some have used light therapy with some success. I can see this being especially helpful for someone who doesn’t have a lot of windows or lives in a basement apartment.

• Color therapy is also something some might want to consider.

Many sleeping pills and sedatives can become addictive so are not usually advised except as a last resort. They don’t really help you cope long term either but may be best for short periods in times of crisis.

Finally, do not hesitate to see a doctor or counselor for more professional advice. Sometimes anxiety and/or depression needs to be treated with therapy and/or medication in order to help regulate your sleep.

While reading American Scientist magazine, I came across this “Southpaw Gene”(LRRTM1) blurb stating that researchers discovered a gene that predisposes people to be left handed.

This same gene apparently may also increase the likelihood of developing schizophrenia. It can only be inherited from the father for some reason and is inactive in the mother.

This isn’t the same thing as saying all left handed people are schizophrenic because there are various factors that lead to its development. I have also read that the same gene that predisposes you to developing schizophrenia also makes you more susceptible to becoming bi-polar.

Anyway, according to the American Journal of Genetics, severe stress in childhood is also a factor and can actually lead to brain damage. In other words, it’s both biological and environmental. The bottom line is no one factor determines whether you will develop it. Even identical twins only have a 50% chance compared to the other.

I’m sure these researchers could find other conditions that right handed people were more prone to as well. In fact, I know people who are bi-polar and schizophrenic and they’re right handed. It’s important to be cautious with any sweeping generalizations, especially since left handed people have faced ongoing prejudice as it is.

Famous Left Handed People

On Wikipedia, I came across a listing of several musicians who are/were left handed. They include Jimi Hendrix, Paul McCartney and Freddy Mercury from Queen. That does explain why Jimi Hendrix played his Fender Stratocaster upside down and Paul McCartney did the same thing when he first played.

It was an interesting discovery so thought I would share and although it might be old news to some, I’m just reading about it. For further reading, see National Geographic’s article on the gene for left handedness.

• If you’re interested in reading about which genes are linked to breast cancer, check out Discussing Breast Cancer’s BRCA1 Research Update post.