Mental & Emotional Health

I know I’ve mentioned before that chronic pain is extremely detrimental to ones mental and emotional health.  I am a walking example of this.  I had back surgery in 2005 and for a year after that (the recovery period), I lived with chronic pain.  Yes, I had the chronic pain before, obviously with 3 herniated disks, it had been a while since I was completely pain-free.  So, living with pain was a way of life…as was depression.

At the present time, my back isn’t really bothering me unless I attempt to do so much, but I have this TMJ issue that is about to cause me to go nuts.  Yes, nuts.  I used the word "going nuts" on a mental and emotional health website.

The TMJ is that bad though.  I have a mouthpiece but I have almost chewed through it.  And, as of late, I wake up with it doubled in half and chewing on it like a piece of gum.  I know that means it is time to go seeking another orthodontist to make me a mouthpiece but in the meantime….

In the meantime, I am ill, hateful, have little patience and simply want to take some ibuprofen or even something stronger and go to bed.  Yes, it affects your life, believe it, your entire state of being is affected.  Your husband and kids are affected, your entire family is affected whether you realize it or not.

For more on Chronic Pain and Depression, check this out.

This week in review:

People get upset when they hear the worlds "Mental Health"

The Switch from Cymbalta to Prozac

Just How Long Does the Switch Over Last

What Medication changes Can do to You\

Happiness is the New Black

ADD- Are you?  ADHD- Are you?

A Series of Posts - Careful thought, it involves Vomit

I’m running a series of posts regarding children and their emotional and mental well-being as well as their physical well being.  I’m going to link to them but realize that some of the links won’t work until much later in the week.  But, the reason I believe they are appropriate here is this quote in The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kallish which I reference quite frequently in those posts simply as TCAH.

The premises is hard how children are being pushed in our world today.  There is much discussion about homework and children losing their childhood to school work instead of playing in the dirt or running around the playground.  Here’s the quote and it is in reference to children being pushed to score well on standardized tests.

"….Each year, up to twenty test booklet have to be discarded per day because children have thrown up on them"

Are you reading that?  They throw up over a standardized test that measures basically nothing.  While are we emotionally allowing schools to bully our children like this.  Here’s the other links and I’ll date them for you as to their availability.

September 28, 2008 - The Time is Now

September 28, 2008 - More of my silly comments about homework

September 29, 2008 - Some More ADD - TCAH - My Own Child

September 29, 2008 - Let me tell you a little story

September 30, 2008 - Here, Here, I say, here, here

September 30, 2008 - Oh and another real life story

September 30, 2008 - Oh and One more thing

October 1, 2008 - I Hope This is Not What My Future Holds

October 1, 2008 - The Case Against Homework - The Homework Potato

October 2, 2008 - Don’t even get me started on sleep

October 2, 2008 - Another Personal Rant

My oldest son is 5.  He is in kindergarten and within week two he had already found himself sitting at the back of the room alone.  He talks incessantly.  It just goes on forever.  I’m certain he is going to grow up to be a radio sportscaster because the kid doesn’t even breathe between sentences.

His teacher assures me that he is a good kid, follows directions, stays on task and is good to his classmates.  He got his first report card yesterday and it too tells the same story.

But…you knew that was coming, right?  We had him tested when he was three.  There were several reasons for it.  One, he wasn’t talking much.  He communicated fine, he just wouldn’t string words together.  Another reason was his intelligence level (although not in speaking) was out of this world.  And, finally, he had about as much attention as a gnat. 

Yes, the good doctor (and I do believe he was good for several reasons, I’ll mention those in a minute) believed that my son very well may have been on the edge of some ADHD issues.  The reason I believed in this doctor so much also comes in parts.  One, the doc agreed with us that we should tolerate as much of his antics at home as we could, choosing no medication for him until much later.  He agreed that once he started school and the teacher was calling me every day and he was making everyone in the room miserable, then we would talk about medication.  But, incessant talking does not ADHD make!

Anyway, this doctor also explained that our next source of problems would come as he got older and matured.  You see, at the ripe age of 3 years and 3 months, he tested out at 2nd grade 7th month.  That’s pretty self explanatory even for the non-education people I think.

Anyway, I refuse to medicate him until I see that he is out of control.  And, for now, his teacher seems fine with his ability to talk until everyone falls over in their chair and she seems to get a kick out of some of the stuff he can dream up. 

Do I still think he might have a edge for ADHD?  Absolutely.  Is it a problem?  Absolutely not.  Will we medicate?  NO way!  My husband has ADD and he was only diagnosed a few years ago.  He says he wished he had been given the opportunity to take medication as a child.  His grandparents figured a good spanking was the best cure.

Anyway, in my reading, researching and writing, I have found numerous sites to be helpful.  We recognized before my 5 year old was ever born that he had an aversion to anything grape.  Yes, I was pregnant and drinking good ol’ sugar-high grape kool-aid.  After about 5 trips to labor and delivery, we figured it out. 

He still can even drink grape juice, 100% grape juice.  It sends him way over the edge.  And, he doesn’t tolerate sugar well where my 3 year old seems to be unaffected by its effects. 

I recently received an email from Jane Faus regarding this very issue.  I thought I’d share some of her thoughts here as well .  They are in the comment section but this just makes it easier.

"take a look at the research that has shown omega-3 essential fatty acids to be very helpful for both depression and ADD.  One benefit is that they do not have negative side effects, including depression — which is sometimes a side effect of ADD drugs."

"Another trigger for many of our modern ailments is the enormous amount of synthetic chemicals being added to our food"

Although I am OCD in many ways, I don’t get so close to the ADD or ADHD spectrum as my husband and son, but, read this…this is me,

"My husband used to get horrible 3 and 4 day migraine headaches from the dyes and a few other synthetic additives."

"You can read all of part one of my book "Why Can’t My Child Behave?" on our web site www.ADHDdiet.org; it will give you quite a lot of information on the diet/behavior/learning link."

Anyway, for anyone who thinks that they have ADD or ADHD or that their child has problems, you should definitely go read some  of the information on Feingold before you take any action by the way of drugs.  There’s so much to learn there, I can’t imagine trying to work it all in, but we are modifying as needed until we can get a bit calmer version of my wonderful little boy.  (My husband is trying some diet modifications as well.)

If you have any questions, shoot them my way and we will see what we can come up with!!

Cross posted all over the place, just letting you know…

I have a very close cyber-buddy (I mean, you know, as close as two people can be in cyber space) and she has the most upbeat attitude that sometimes I wonder if maybe I need some of what she has stashed in her kool-aid drawer at home.  Either way, I’ve seen her make photos of thunderstorms and turn them into happy times.  She’ll pour a glass of wine and visit with the neighbor while the children play and she sits back with her wine and enjoys it all.

She’s been known to chase their dog around the neighborhood in her PJ’s and barely stops to wonder if anyone notices.  Basically, she just has a great attitude. 

Have I ever known her to not have a great attitude?  Of course I have, no one is that perfect all the time.  But, she knows how to block the punches, skip over the rocks and dunk under the timbers and land flat on her feet right in front of the river of rainbows.  Yea, she is that good.

Anyway, she has a new site up and running and in case you haven’t figured it out already, the site is Happiness Is The New Black.  I sent her a snarky little email asking her what she was trying to prove by not letting me in on the secrets of her blog life and she sent me packing to the about page and the submit page.   But, since I’m in such a grand ol’ mood, I’ll give you a quick blow by blow just in case you are interested in contributing.

In the about section, this quote summarizes the site for me, "True happiness is deep, pure and everlasting. It is subtle and it is popular because we all share an intrinsic need for it."  And, with that, you can share your happiness or just read about the happiness of others.

The Submit section will answer questions for you like, How do I contribute?, What do I contribute? Why should I contribute? as well as the When’s? and How often’s.  Go on check it out, it could make for some serious emotional healing….happiness is contagious The New Black

Listen, I don’t mean to keep talking about myself here but no one is giving me anything else to buzz about, so again today, you get me.  As I’ve written already, I’m changing my medication (not necessarily I but we meaning the doctor and I) from Cymbalta which toted a hefty $60 co-pay to Prozac which is only $15.  It seemed like common sense.

I’ve been on Cymbalta for several years now and I hated to rock the boat.  We were just flowing along so nicely.  But, monetarily, $60 is just a lot of money when you consider the costs of other drugs that we require around here. 

So, Cymbalta is out, Prozac is in.  Prozac was the first anti-depressant I ever took and when I started it, I don’t recall any side-effects.  For instance, when my husband first started his anti-depressant medication (Lexapro), he had plenty of side effects which eased up as the week wore on.  But, when I started Prozac, I don’t remember any such issues.

But, now, switching from one to the other has kept me down.  I’m dizzy, I’m lethargic, and I’m a little grumpy.  Not as grumpy as I once was without medication, but the change over has been difficult.  I just hope it works out for the best and I haven’t wasted this week for naught. 

Stay tuned and we shall see…

I’m not sure how long it will take for my body to recover from the loss of Cymbalta and the gaining of Prozac.  Today I’ve been mostly a zombie.  I don’t want to talk to anyone, not my husband, not my mom, not even my kids.  I went to my cousin’s volleyball game and said nothing more to anyone other than, "hello, how are you?".  I wasn’t cheering, I wasn’t even remotely excited and truth be known, I probably should have stayed at home in bed.  That’s where I want to be right now through this transition.  I’d like to just sleep through it and wake up happy as I was before the change began.

I started the change on Monday so I guess I’m in for at least another week of this and chances are the dose will have to be raised before I see a substantial change.

I’ve missed lots of important milestones of my very own children and I hate that.  I right now, I’m grumpy and hateful and my own children simply don’t deserve that either.  My husband is trying to cope with me and trying his best to help the kids so they don’t make me lose my cool (which happens really quickly).

So, I have an opportunity right now to make things right with at least one of my kids so I’m off to try to make that work.  It may take more patience that I have, but at least I’m going to try.

Let’s just say that this switch from one anti-depressant to another has gone much smoother than in times past.  However, that does not mean, by any standards, that it has been easy.  It started Monday,  my last Cymbalta was taken on Sunday, on Monday I started the generic Prozac. 

And, on Monday, I felt depressed, not just totally down and out, just dumpy.  I made myself get up and shower and style my newly cut hair in hopes that I would feel better.  Maybe it helped some, but not enough.

Tuesday rolled around and I was down.  All day, in the bed, rising only to grab a drink, use the bathroom and check on my kids.  I did get up long enough to eat some macaroni and cheese and before I knew it, my head was right back on that pillow.

So, day three of Prozac and I’m better but I am so drowsy.  I know that once my body makes the full change over I won’t be so drowsy but right now, right now I think I sleep sound as Sleeping Beauty.  Consider me dead and call the morgue. 

I’m doing better as of late this afternoon and again I’m going to shower and force myself to do something with my hair in hopes of feeling better.  I mean, sometimes just getting out of your pj’s makes life a bit tolerable. 

And, I’m going to watch my cousin play volleyball this afternoon so that should help with my feelings….as long as my children behave.  They’ve been on a tear lately and I think it is just a result of knowing that mom is acting weird herself. 

Look for me later tomorrow to just see if we are meeting some form of equilibrium at all.

See you then.  I would love some discussion!

I’m trying to drum up enough people to live blog the show tomorrow night!  It is a 2 hour season premier for the first time ever.

Please email me or comment and let me know.  If I can get some interest generated, I’d love to do it!!!

Survivor - Gabon - The Last Eden - The Live Blog  at Mom~E~Centric

CONTEST:  Take the following five questions to your blog (if you don’t have one, simply answer in my comments section) and post the questions and answers by Friday night, September 26th at midnight.  Then, send me the link to your post showing me your questions and answers.

WINNER:   Everyone who participates, either on their blog (as long as you send me the link) or in the comments will be entered into Random.Org after Midnight on September 26th.

PRIZE:  The winner will choose from one of the following:

1.  a $20 Amazon.com gift certificate

OR

2.  a copy of The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish

OR

3.  a copy of The White Trash Mom’s Handbook by Michelle Lamar and Molly Wendland.

Here are the following questions, remember that Survivor kicks off its 17th season tomorrow night with a 2 hour premier.  So, here goes…

How Well Do You Know Your Survivor Seasons and Players?

No one likes to hear the words "mental health" when they visit the doctor.  We all like to think that we are fine just like we are.  I spoke to a friend this weekend who indicated that her son used the same therapist/psychiatrist that I use.  She finished it off with "but don’t tell him, he will have a fit".  See, it’s folks like him who haven’t come to grips with the fact that chemical imbalances are normal.  Diabetes, thyroid hormone just to name a few are diseases that people would never put off treating, yet when you say the worlds "mental health", you lose a lot of people.

Some people are so afraid of hearing the words "depression" and "anti-depressants that they just simply don’t talk about their problems at all.  There in lies the problems.  You know, if you won’t admit you need help by even talking in confidence with a friend, then you are most likely not even willing to admit that a chemical imbalance exists.

I spend a big part of nearly everyday reading blogs of women who are either pregnant or just gave birth and their hormones are raging.  Another group of women that I chat with and read their blogs are women who find themselves at home with kids, working for home (weather it is job that has a signature and paycheck or if it is the job of 100% raising children, it’s work, don’t demean that, please) and their hormones are causing mood fluctuations and they have to find a way to cope.  

Some women, like me, realize that my body isn’t perfect.  I truly believe that God gave man the ability to learn so that doctors would exist to help patients like me.  So, give them an opportunity to do that, help you.  If you need help. you are doing no one any favors by ignoring it.  Go now, go look deep into yourself and decide if you think you are ignoring a very critical part of your health…your mental health.

This is a personal story.  I asked if I could share and my husband’s comment was "you are going to do it anyway, so why does it matter what I think".  That’s not entirely true, I would have at least kept the person in question anonymous.  But, since he said he didn’t care, here goes.

My husband was diagnosed with ADD several years ago.  It took a few months to get his medication regulated but he takes adderall.  It works for him.  He quickly began to focus (although he still jumps from one task to another sometimes) and he can get much more work accomplished in a period of time than ever before.

Several months ago I urged him to talk to our doctor about his mood.  He didn’t.  I did finally.  He had me go to the doctor with him and explain it to the good doc.  He was put on medication at a tiny dose and he perked up rather quickly. 

So, he now takes something for the ADD and something for depression.  I don’t mind, he doesn’t mind and as I’ve said before, the good Lord didn’t surround us with people who are capable of finding ways to help us if he didn’t intend for us to their skills.  However, many people simply do not like to take medications.  And, for some, the side affects of medications for ADD include insomnia and a feeling that is described as "just not right". 

It is important to note that people with ADD are treated with psychostimulants so as to improve their ability to focus and relieve hyperactivity and impulsivity.  Medication is no cure, but if the right medication is used, at the right dose, then without a doubt, it is worth a try, just ask my husband.

I read someone’s blog the other day and they were discussing how they had a just went to bed and had a good cry.  I haven’t cried in ages.  (Until yesterday, but I’ll get to that.)  One of the benefits of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is that I do not cry at the drop of the hat like I once did.  There was a time, as far back as I can remember until just in the last seven or eight years, that I cried about every single thing that bothered me. 

Years on anti-depressants changed that crying problem.  But, at the same time, sometimes, you just need a good cry.  I did cry yesterday during our counseling session only because I was overwhelmed.  I am having issues with my 3-year-olds behavior since the oldest started Kindergarten.  He pulls out toys but then won’t play with them alone.  He doesn’t want to put them back either.  He basically is just sending me over the edge, every day. 

I attribute part of my emotional wreckage to the fact that mono is still plaguing me, but some of it is that this child truly is stubborn.  Most days by the time my husband gets home from work I’m ready to go lay down or run away.  Yesterday in the counseling session, I cried just a little.  I didn’t squall, I just cried a little.  The boys were with us and I didn’t want them to see me in snubbing action. 

However, it would have been really nice just to burst into tears.  I would prefer that I just burst into tears over  something silly so that there’s really nothing wrong that needs tears for obvious reasons.  But, I do need a good cry.

So, what did I do instead?  I got a manicure and pedicure.  I find that since I am at home all day again, I feel like I need more me time.  When we owned the daycare, I rarely got me time, and I would talk about it but I never took any action to make it happen.  I’ve been at home full-time basically since the week of fourth of July.  And, I’ve had about 6 pedicures since then and now I think I need a manicure as well.

Everyone needs some personal time (and until your kids quit following you to the restroom) but you don’t always get it.  A manicure and pedicure helps, but really would like a great big cry.

Today when I went to my monthly appointment for counseling and doctor visit, I made the request to change my medication from cymbalta to something more cost effective.  The doctor worded it as cost prohibitive but whatever, it cost too doggone much. 

So, he asked what other drugs we had tried and since the file was thicker than most phone books, we started a discussion based on my memory.  I told him that I had taken paxil when I was pregnant with my children and as far as I could remember it worked alright when I was pregnant but not so well afterwards.  And, I mentioned that I took prozac for many years on end. 

So, he asked if I had a preference and since my memory serves me that one of the side effects of prozac is lack of appetite, I decided to go that route.  I know that sounds crazy but prozac really did help me for twelve years or more and I know the paxil didn’t do as well when I wasn’t pregnant.

So, prozac it is.  It will cost me much less ($5.17 a month versus $60 a month for cymbalta) than the cymbalta but the true test will be my mood, my cranky, aggravating disposition. 

I am a sleeper.  I’ve always been a sleeper.  I make jokes with people about it because it is quite spectacular to see just how much I can sleep. I once had a roommate that wouldn’t leave me alone about joining her and her friends for movies and pizza or just drinking beer and watching ball games.  I never could make her understand, I enjoyed sleeping.  I finally telling her that I wasn’t really sleeping, I was meditating.  I swear, for me, it was just as healing as meditation.

I’ve made jokes over the years about how the life in my dreams is better than the one in reality so why not sleep when I get a chance.  People simply dismissed it as depression and medicated me.  As you may or may not know, most anti-depressants may have a sleepy effect.  So, that wasn’t always a great idea.

For some one who could sleep as much as I could, I had problems going to sleep and then, I’d wake all during the night.  It was ridiculous.  For many years I took over the counter sleep aids, then I graduated to prescription medications.  The problem remained.  I’ve tried a variety of the popular sleep medications on the market, prescription and non-prescription.  The anxiety I have though was much stronger than the any sleep aid out there. 

Ambien made me hallucinate.  And, I tried it several times over a five year span and I would always return to the same hallucination.  It really was nutty.  So, doctors would keep playing with sleep inducing drugs.  But, as I’ve told you several times, I found a doctor who specializes in chronic pain as well as mood disorders, emotional disorders, etc.  He really has been great for me.

He is the person who convinced me to go to the Sleep Clinic.  I do indeed have sleep apena.  And, I don’t take a sleep-aid to go to sleep, I take a very strong dose of a drug used to treat bi-polar disease.  I am not bi-polar, but I do have such a high strung personality that it takes a drug that strong to settle me into sleep.  The first night at the sleep clinic, even with the drug I normally take, I never entered the deepest zone of sleep.  The technicians were in awe.  He jokingly said that I also managed to run about 10 miles.

I returned to the clinic with doctors orders for a sleep apnea machine.  That night I entered the deepest zone of sleep approximately 45 minutes before time for me to get up.  However, I wasn’t waking 15 or 16 times an hour from sleep apnea and I managed to run a much shorter distance.  Success?

By most folks standards that would probably not be success.  I mean, I still have to take a drug that is made to treat a completely different illness in order to go to sleep, I have to sleep with the aid of a CP machine and I take a medication to curb the restless leg syndrome.  But, in my world, the fact that I make into a deep sleep every night means I rest more than I ever have before.  The legs remain still and it doesn’t take me hours upon hours to go to sleep.  (I remember having insomnia as early as age 8).

So, if any of this sounds familiar to you, please find yourself a good doctor, and a sleep clinic and get yourself taken care of.  I still love to take a nap.  I can be wide awake and plowing through my day and if someone suggest we quieten down and nap, I’m all over it.  I simply love to sleep.

The best I can tell, I was born to be a sleeper and my job is to dream.  As of late, I’ve been dreaming pretty doggone big too.  So, it can’t be all bad now can it?